Roger Clemens and A Few Good Men

I found this in Wednesday's edition of USA Today. A reader made a parody of A Few Good Men and Roger Clemens while being investigated a federal grand jury for perjury in front of Congress.

Clemens: You can't handle the truth! Coach, we live in a world that has the AL East. And the AL East has to be guarded by men with rockets. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Andy Pettitte? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for our team ERA, and you curse the pitching coach. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: That the bullpen, while tragic, probably recorded saves. And my extistence, while grotesque on incomprehensible to you, puts fans in the stands. You don't want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don't talk about in the clubhouse, you want me on the 'roids. You need me on the 'roids.

The scary thing is, this scene is probably true for a lot of sports fans in the world. Just thought I would share that little diddy.

Define a Piece of Crap

I knew if I looked long enough on the world wide web, I would find the definition I was trying to find.

"crap1 /kræp/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[krap] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation noun, verb, crapped, crap·ping.
–noun
1.Vulgar.
a.excrement.
b.an act of defecation.
c.Jose Canseco
2.Slang: Sometimes Vulgar.
a.nonsense; drivel.
b.falsehood, exaggeration, propaganda, or the like.
3.refuse; rubbish; junk; litter: Will you clean up that crap!"

Does anyone take this guy seriously? Yes, I know his book "Juiced" and him were vindicated some what by all the needle poking athletes that call themselves professionals. Where does it stop with him? Reports out currently have Jose trying to extort money from Maggilo Ordonez for some kind of movie that Canseco wants to make. Jose apparently told Maggilo he would not mention him in Canseco's new book if Maggilo would give him money for the movie. What? I know Maggs does not want his name anywhere near the word steroid, but extortion is extortion. Here's hoping that Maggs takes him down. You piece of crap.

I have also heard that Jose is going to mention Andrew Selich in his next book. Andrew did hit 19 round-trippers in our softball league last summer. :)

Since I am ranting about a piece of crap, Kwame Kilpatrick, mayor of the City of Detroit, has been caught being untruthful while under oath. Read about it here. Granted this has not much to do about sports, but this just gives reporters a chance to talk about this on national shows when the NCAA comes to town for the regionals this year and Final Four next year. Thanks Kwame, you piece of crap.