Roger Clemens and A Few Good Men

I found this in Wednesday's edition of USA Today. A reader made a parody of A Few Good Men and Roger Clemens while being investigated a federal grand jury for perjury in front of Congress.

Clemens: You can't handle the truth! Coach, we live in a world that has the AL East. And the AL East has to be guarded by men with rockets. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Andy Pettitte? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for our team ERA, and you curse the pitching coach. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: That the bullpen, while tragic, probably recorded saves. And my extistence, while grotesque on incomprehensible to you, puts fans in the stands. You don't want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don't talk about in the clubhouse, you want me on the 'roids. You need me on the 'roids.

The scary thing is, this scene is probably true for a lot of sports fans in the world. Just thought I would share that little diddy.

'Roid Busting PI's

Rusty Hardin, Roger Clemens attorney, has hired his own private Sherlock Holmes to check to validity of The Mitchell Report and to interview witnesses that Geroge Mitchell seemed to ignore. Well, I am glad that Clemens is fighting the attachment of his name to this report. He has stated that he did not use the performance enhancing drugs. If that is true then he should fight the allegation with all the wealth that he has accumalted. I believe that he is the greatest pitcher of my generation. Of course if he was injecting, that belief would change. I am going to take him at his word until proven otherwise. Besides, he has only told us he was retiring 3 times.